Basic MathJoe: Alright Marty.

Basic Math
Joe: Alright Marty. Thanks to your parents, I am now being forced to teach you “Basic Math”.
Marty: Aww why?
Joe: Because you’re in 11th grade and you suck at math!
Marty: … well that was a little harsh.
(Joe sighs)
Joe: I’m sorry.
Marty: It’s okay.
Joe: Now, without further-a - do, let’s begin. So, if I have 5 waffles, and you have 5 waffles, h-
Marty: What flavor?
Joe: What?
Marty: What flavor are the waffles?
Joe: Doe it really matter?
Marty: I don’t want to eat waffles until I know what flavor they are.
Joe: Okay they’re strawberry.
Marty: But I hate strawberry.
Joe: Fine they’re plain.
Marty: Yuck.
Joe: Would you please listen!!?
Marty: … Can I have chocolate waffles?
Joe: then why didn’t you ask that before?
Marty:   : D
Joe: Never mind. So, if I have 5 Chocolate waffles, and I have 5 chocolate waffle-
Marty: But you hate chocolate.
(Joe’s eye twitches twice)
Joe: … If I have 5 strawberry waffles, and you have 5 chocolate waffles, how many waffles do we have altogether?
Marty: Nine.
Joe: What? That’s impossible.
Marty:  Actually, it’s quite possible.
Joe: Oh yeah, explain.
Marty: You took too long to say your question, the waffles were getting cold, I was hungry, so I ate one of my waffles.
(Joe face palms)
End of Scene One

Joe: Okay, moving on to fractions.
Marty: Yay.
Joe: So, if you have 9 waffles-
(Marty raises his hand)
Joe: 4 Chocolate and 4 strawberry.
(Marty puts his hand down)
Joe: If you have 4 chocolate waffles, and 5 strawberry waffles, how many waffles do you have?
Marty: Nine.
Joe: Great. With those nine waffles, if you cut them in half, how many waffles do you have now?
Marty: I still have nine.
Joe: No, you have eighteen. Look, it is right there,  counts them.
Marty: I could cut them anyway I want, I’ll still have eight waffles.
Joe: Wait, why eight?
Marty: I got hungry again.
Joe: Would you stop eating your math!? Really?
Marty:… do you want any waffles-
Joe: I don’t want any waffles. Man, teaching you is hard.
Marty: Teaching is hard? That reminds me about the time I tried to teach your cat to fly.
Joe: My cat?
(Flashback)
(Marty is standing at the top of a cliff, holding Joe’s cat right above the edge with two pieces of cardboard taped on the cats’ front legs)
Marty: Alright Whiskers. It’s your time to shine. Just flap your wings and you’ll be fine.
Whiskers: Meow?
(Marty throws Whiskers in the sky)
Marty: Just look at him go.
(Whiskers starts falling)
Marty: Yup. Any second now, he’ll be soaring through the winds.
(Four seconds later Marty hears a loud thud that echoes from the bottom of the cliff)
Marty:   :/ …..
(Marty slowly backs away from the cliff and runs)
(End of flashback)
Joe: My…Whiskers?
Marty: Hmmm. So if he had nine lives, subtract that one, now he has eight, so that means….. I know how to do my math now and it’s all thanks to you! Thanks Joe! You’re the best!
(Marty leaves the room)
Joe:    :C  Whiskers?

End